Why is it that it has to be that specific person that you just HAVE to fall in love with? Could you have fallen in love with another and been just as happy? Is there really that ONE person out there for everyone?  Is it your destiny to meet? If so, shouldn't you be together regardless of whatever they put you through, the trials and tribulations, because it's your "fate"? In that case, why do we worry so much when we go through tough times with them? Will it all be worth it in the end? You don't care if there are twenty more of them out there; they're the one your heart settled on. Once you find that one person,  that's it... they become all you care about and all you need. Everyone else just seems to fade away and you wouldn't have it any other way. They become the reason for your existence. They give you the strength to keep on living, yet they are your weakness. A feeling of  euphoria overcomes you every time you hear their voice, even if for a few seconds. And every time you see them, they make your heart race out of control. Yet in a second, with just one discouraging word, they can tear your world apart. They have you tethered on a string. How is it possible for one peron to have so much control over another? Could they possibly be willing to discard your unconditional love? Do they even have the vaguest idea of what you go through for them? You know that if they were to leave you, your life would never be the same... you are forever changed. Nothing will ever seem quite right again. It would all seem so meaningless and empty, and you'll always long for them. It's frightening how much you want them. No matter how they hurt you, you are willing to forgive and forget, as long as you can have them again. When you really think about it, you realize that, in your eyes, there is nothing they can do wrong. It takes more than your tears, their thoughtless acts and even cruel words for you to decide they aren't worth the struggle. You adore them for all they are; you hate them for all they've done. Who is this person who seems to have invaded your very existence? A blessing or a curse? Should we be grateful that this person came into our lives? Is just one moment with this person better than a lifetime without them?

Hey Nav, this one goes out to you. You've been asking me to write more, so I've decided to take your advice. Now I urge you to take the Deftones' advice and "Go get your knife, go get your knife..." You're right, that song does tend to pump you up. What can I say... it's the power of music. Or rather, I should say, the power of Chino. His voice is so freakin' amazing. I can't even begin to describe it. I could listen to that guy sing forever, even though that one song does make me think of people who piss me off. I'm listening to it, and it makes me think of all those users and abusers. Who do they think they are, just waltzing in and complicating things? Don't worry Nav, I got your back. And to everyone else, I'd like to say, no, I am not crazy. Nor am I bitter. And I assure you, the usage of knives is strictly metaphorical... yes.... right, metaphorical.

so i was just at my grandma's house when i decided to create one of these xanga thingies. i must warn you, i don't particularly have the most interesting life, so bear with me.... and we'll see how this blog thing goes. so far, i haven't done much today. unless you wanna count all those spongebob episodes i just watched. that's what i've been doing since i came home for summer.... just watch tv, go out with friends once in a while. but since most of my friends don't live within walking distance, it's hard to go out with them. most of us don't have cars. so the phone and the internet are the primary means through which i've been keeping in touch with them. it's pretty sad, so i'm trying to see if i can get my license. so far, this has been a failed attempt. no volunteers to teach me. i guess some people were not cut out for the open road.  so i'll be taking the bus next week to go see my best friend. i haven't seen her in a couple months... i think since my birthday.... that's a long time...... so you can guess how excited i am to see her. well, that's all the time i have today. until next time.